


Baker's Dozen

by Randomcat1832



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Gen, Hints of Alphyne, Male-Female Friendship, No established Sans & Papyrus backstory, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Pre-Canon, This is a friendship story ok, fluff mostly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 08:30:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8790733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomcat1832/pseuds/Randomcat1832
Summary: Oneshot. Following the friendship of Papyrus and Undyne, from kindergarten to adulthood.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, fellow human! Thank you for clicking on this story! I’m very pleased it piqued your interest. I don’t think is my best work, but I hope you like it anyway. For the purposes of this story, I’m going with the idea that Papyrus and Undyne grew up together, simply because it’s too damn cute to resist. (One of the reasons this story is long as hell). The in-game dialogue also implies they’ve been close for a very long time. Their bond is one of my favourite parts of the game. I will also be going with the theory that the skelebros grew up poor and starving and all that jazz, because for some reason this is one of the most popular, generally-accepted backstories, and while I have no idea why this theory is so widespread, I like it. 
> 
> An important note: The brilliant cover art was drawn by the lovely Dreamillusions and made especially for this story. I am extremely grateful to her and she deserves all the butterscotch-cinnamon pie in the world. Let’s give her a hand of applause!
> 
> Warnings: Light. Minor violence in a couple scenes and one f-word.

 

   
**_They are five._**  
All the children in her class are crying for their mummies or daddies. Some of them cling to their parents’ legs, but their parents shake them off and they’re left to whimper piteously, then wander, lost, to the middle of the carpet to curl up and silently sniffle. That’s because they’re all babies and weenies. All of them cry except for Undyne. _She_ isn’t a baby. _She_ is all of five years old, and it is first day of school. She’d known this day was coming for a while, and she’d known what it meant: to get to be away from her parents for a whole six hours, which was the coolest thing ever.

All of the children cry like the babies they are, but none of them is quite so much a baby as one particular boy. A tiny skeleton monster, he drops onto the middle of the carpet, and positively _bawls_. It’s quite impressive, really, the display he puts on, considering he doesn’t have actual lungs. Undyne watches him from one corner with a kind of fascination, but it develops into annoyance once the other children recover and start to play, and he goes right on screaming for his “Sans.”

Eventually Undyne wanders over to him and pokes him, hard. “Stop crying, you big weenie!” she demands with a forceful stomp of her foot.

The skeleton child ignores her. If anything his tears become more violent. “SAAAAANS!”

Undyne pokes him harder. “ _Stop it_!” she insists, stomping her foot again. “Shut _up_!” And then she pushes him over.

He looks startled as he topples over, but at least he stops screaming. He instead stares up at her with wide eye sockets, looking like a wounded animal. Undyne plops down next to him. “You’re not gonna see your mummy or daddy for the whole entire day, every day, for a real long time, so stop crying.”

The other monster looks confused now. “I don’t have – I just want Sans. That’s my brother. He’s eleven and very grown-up.”

“You don’t have a mummy or daddy? That’s weird.”

Papyrus looks like he’s about to cry again. Undyne, needless to say, is irritated. She sighs and pats his spine. “Don’t cry, you big baby.” There is a pause, then he throws his arms around her neck and hugs her back, very tightly. Undyne rolls her eyes and gives his spine another pat before pulling away. “Do you wanna come play Capture the Human with me? I’m Undyne.”

He perks up at the invitation. “Really?! You mean it for real?! All right! I’M Papyrus!”

“Papy… Pap-uh… Papy… ” The skeleton monster’s name is hard to say. “That’s a stupid name. I’m just gonna call you Papy and you can’t do anything about it, so there.” She stands, and yanks him to his feet. “Come on and play with me.”

Papyrus doesn’t seem very hurt, and follows her timidly.

He screams for his brother Sans for the next two weeks, but he quietens down whenever Undyne shows up at school – late, every day, without fail. She reminds him he’s being a great big baby and one time she has to hit him to make him stop, but he soon takes to following her around the classroom like a lost puppy monster. Undyne is very good at distracting Papyrus and making him forget he misses his brother, who works all day and can’t be called to comfort Papyrus on account of not owning a phone. She distracts him in all kinds of ways! He likes to wrestle and have stuffed-animal fights and listen to her stories about her awesome Great-Great-Great-Great-Uncle Gerson, who fought in the War and bashed all the humans’ brains out all explodey with his hammer, BANG-SPLAT!

By October they have become inseparable.

   
**_They are six._**  
Undyne is very good at making up games. Sometimes she plays with the other children, but whenever she gets a new idea, she always plays it with Papyrus first. That’s because they’re best friends. Papyrus is her best friend in the whole entire Underground.

Undyne’s games tend to lead to nicked fingers and bones, but they’re a lot of fun. She and Papyrus are very good at all of them. There’s tag and stuffed-animal or pillow fights and wrestling and snow tackling and Capture the Human and Kill the Human and the best game, Kill the Human with a Spear. This last consists of Undyne chasing Papyrus around the playground, trying to catch him. Whenever she does, she pins him down and stands over him with her legs and either side of his ribcage. She then takes her best stick and stabs it into the muddy ground between the gaps in his ribs and yells, “DIE! DIE! DIE!”

They do everything together. They eat lunch together and play at each other’s houses at least once a week. Undyne doesn’t really question the fact Papyrus never brings a lunch to school; actually she sometimes shares hers with him, because he’ll eat the yucky oranges and the even yuckier pickles out of her sandwich. Plus sometimes her mummy gives her two sandwiches just for sharing, even though Papyrus only ever eats half and puts the other half in his backpack for his brother because he’s a good sharer too. She doesn’t really question the fact that he doesn’t have a mummy or daddy, just a big brother, or the fact that he doesn’t live in a house like she does, just a shack on the edges of Snowdin Forest.

It’s more fun when he comes to play at her house anyway; they can take off all their clothes and run naked through Waterfall together just to get the grown-ups mad. It’s too cold to do that in Snowdin. They can wander through Waterfall and make all of the Echo Flowers say “fart” and every time, it’s the funniest thing in the whole entire Underground.

One day, Undyne hears about blood siblings on telly. It’s the sort of thing best friends do, apparently. When Papyrus comes over to her house after school, she sits him down on the kitchen floor gets a knife from the high-up cupboard she can get to by climbing on the counter when her parents aren’t looking.

“We’re supposed to say our blood runs the same,” she explains to him. Then, with her hand held out in front of her, she uses the knife to make a cut in her finger. “Undyne!” Papyrus exclaims. It hurts and starts bleeding at once and really stings, but she ignores the pain.

“Give me your hand,” she instructs.

Papyrus whimpers, cradling his hand near him protectively.

“Papy, give me your hand,” she repeats, annoyed. “Or else we’re not best friends anymore.”

He whimpers again, but he holds his hand out.

“It doesn’t even hurt, practically,” she says, and carefully makes a big cut in his finger. Papyrus begins howling immediately. Only no blood comes out.

“Hold still, I have to try again,” she commands. She tries cutting deeper and Papyrus screams. But there’s still no blood, so she keeps on hacking at his phalange and chipping at the bone and not a drop of blood comes out and Papyrus’ howls get louder and louder until her mummy comes downstairs and shouts at her, then takes Papyrus home early even though his brother is supposed to pick him up.

“It’s supposed to bleed! I hate you!” Undyne yells after him.

She doesn’t play with him for a whole week after, she’s so mad. She just plays with Alphys, even though the tiny lizard monster isn’t much fun because she won’t wrestle and only likes dolls and stuff. He even got her in trouble. He didn’t have to be such a baby about the entire affair. He didn’t even bleed!

But after a week, he doesn’t actually have anyone to play with at recess or do worksheets with. She misses him, and plus she feels kind of bad. She runs up to him on the playground before school and gives him a hug and says sorry. He hugs back and forgives her right away. Papyrus never gets mad at people, not even at Greater Dog when he knocks over his block tower at playtime.

Undyne decides their blood “runs the same” anyway. “Wanna play together after school?”

   
_**They are seven.**_  
As Undyne becomes old enough to walk to school by herself, she arrives later than ever, and usually in a scruffy state. Papyrus still has his brother walk him to school though, and pick him up, but that’s because he’s still sort of a baby. Lots of monsters from Snowdin don’t have their mummies or daddies walk them anymore.

One day, the King comes to school. He’s supposed to teach the third years about responsibility and stuff. Apparently it’s a tradition. Undyne thinks that’s silly. She already knows about responsibility, like Don’t Write Your Name on Alphys’ Project Because You Didn’t Do Yours Even Though She’s the Smartest Kid in the Class.

At recess she spots Asgore watching the children from across the playground, not noticing the sad look on his face. She’s playing tag with Papyrus, and she’s It. But now, mid-game, she stops and sprints across the yard, and tries to attack him with everything she’s got. “Fight me!”

Needless to say, Asgore is probably taken aback, attacked by a seven-year-old fish monster with twigs stuck in her tangled red hair. Her uniform has seen better days – her blazer is tied around her waist, her buttons are done all wrong, and her tie is untied. One foot only has a sock on it, and the other foot, which bears a shoe, is missing a sock.

She struggles to land a blow on him, even attempts to manifest some magic attacks. Instead, he dodges her punches with surprising ease, even blocks some of them. “Fight me!” she shouts again, stomping her foot, waiting for him to attack back. He never does, and soon she’s getting tired.

Two minutes later, she’s lying in a panting heap on the ground with dirt smears across her scales and messy, embarrassed tears streaming down her face.

The King leans down, putting one large hand on her shoulder. She looks up, blinking. “Excuse me.” His voice is gentle. “But do you want to know how to beat me?”

Undyne’s mouth drops open but she nods vigorously.

After that, Asgore contacts her parents through the school and begins training her privately, much to Undyne’s thrill. It means she’s not always available to play after school or on Saturdays, but she has the best time ever, even if he beats her every time. She gets to learn how to fight with a sword and a spear, the real thing, or at least, the real thing made out of wood with a dull point. Asgore says he admires her spunk and spirit, and then maybe when she’s big enough, she’ll make a fine member of the Royal Guard.

Undyne tells Papyrus everything about her training sessions. Asgore (whom she always calls just “Asgore” and never “Your Majesty,” even to his face) is becoming her friend, and she likes him, but Papyrus is still her _best_ friend.

They’re going to be in the Royal Guard together when they grow up and beat up bad guys and capture all the humans that fall down into the Underground. Undyne is going to be Captain and Papyrus is going to be her right-hand man. It’s going to be brilliant.

****  
**_They are eight.  
_** It starts with a sleepover. They’ve never had a sleepover at her house before – Papyrus has always been too afraid to leave Sans for more than a few hours at a time. But Undyne convinces him at long last, now that they’re eight and practically old. He brings a small overnight bag to school on Friday. When he gets to Undyne’s house and unpacks, she watches him with uncharacteristic sombreness. He pulls out his pyjamas and his toothbrush and his teddy bear. It’s much more beat-up than Undyne’s own soft toy; she knows his big brother scoured it at the dump and it comes from the Surface, making it ten times cooler than _her_ stuffed cat. Where her cat is new and fluffier and made in the Underground by monsters and  _bo-ring_ , his teddy bear’s fur is really worn in places and it’s missing a button eye and the stitching is loose in lots of places.

Undyne is acutely aware of this of a sudden – their soft toys have never been side-by-side before. She’s slept at Papyrus’ house before but has never brought her cat along with her. She hasn’t needed to cuddle it to fall asleep for a while now; it just lies next to her in bed. She doesn’t say anything about Papyrus bringing his teddy; she knows he’s a weenie.

“Why don’t you have your sleeping bag?” she wants to know. “You’re supposed to sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor next to my bed, silly Papy.” She’s been able to say his actual name for a while now, but she prefers Papy.

Papyrus is frank. “I haven’t got one.”

“You sleep in a sleeping bag whenever I have a sleepover at your house.”

“That’s my bedroll,” he corrects her. “Sans and I sleep in bedrolls. All the time.”

“Oh.” Undyne shrugs. “Well, my mummy will find you a mat or something.” Hearing Papyrus say this makes her feel kind of funny inside. She takes his teddy bear and sits it next to her cat. She stares at them for a long time. “Papy,” she asks contemplatively, “are you _poor_?”

“Oh, yes! Sans says we are!” 

“Oh.” Undyne shrugs. She guesses that’s why he doesn’t bring lunch to school ever. Or why he doesn’t have a television even though _everyone_ does. “Do you wanna go watch TV?” 

He shakes his head. He seems to gather his courage for a moment, then says, “I don’t like television very much. At least not the shows you watch.” 

Undyne pauses, then throws a pillow at him. It hits him square in the face. For a second, he looks like he’s about to cry. Then he takes it swats her with it. Undyne’s eyes grow huge. “PILLOW FIGHT!” she shouts at the top of her voice, grabbing her other pillow and hitting him back. Their pillow fight is filled with soft thuds and yells – they know to hold nothing back. They climb on her dresser and jump on her bed. At one point, a pillow knocks over her alarm clock and sends it through her bedroom window with a loud _smash_.

Both children freeze. “Oops,” says Undyne, and then their pillow fight resumes.

 

**_They are ten._**  
Most of the children at school think Undyne is the coolest kid in class. Even some of the older children, the eleven-year-olds, look up to her. The fact that she trains privately with Asgore is a solid reason for admiration. She’s almost got a guaranteed spot in the Royal Guard when she turns thirteen, which is the youngest age anyone is allowed to be formally recruited. She’s tough and is the best at every single sport in P.E.

The same cannot be said for her best friend. Papyrus is a source of ridicule among the other children.

Sans has gotten a job as a castle page boy and junior sentry somehow, and has some more money, so Papyrus can bring lunch to school now, and he seems to enjoy every single bite of it, but Undyne still gives him her pickles. This changes nothing – his uniform is still a hand-me-down that’s too big for him, and plus he doesn’t do very well in school, much like Undyne in that respect. He’s pretty good at maths and he’s always talking about and designing puzzles, but he has a hard time reading. Plus, he still acts like a baby – his brother picks him up from school even though they’re all double digits, now. He cries if a ball hits him too hard during P.E. And he just acts really weird.

The first four times it happens, Undyne’s not there to witnessit. She sometimes leaves school early for training, and sometimes she skives off. The point is that she doesn’t actually know.

She finds out the fifth time. Undyne takes a little longer before recess because she’s trying to convince Alphys to let her copy her homework, and Papyrus heads out to meet her on the playground. When Undyne gets to the playground, however, it’s to the sight of Papyrus, curled up in a ball under the jungle gym. Or rather, the bits of Papyrus that are visible between the bodies that surround him, and seem to be kicking and punching him – three of them in all. There’s Doggo and a couple of the Astigmatisms. A few other children have gathered to watch solemnly. Even though the playground is bright and noisy, all of a sudden Undyne can only hear three noises – Doggo and the Astigmatisms laughing, small whimpers from Papyrus, and the sound of feet and fists connecting hard with bone.

Undyne curls her hands into fists. Then she runs straight at the monsters, emitting her best battle cry – “NGAHHH!” She pounces on the bigger Astigmatism, yanking him off Papyrus. Then she pulls off the other one, in the roughest way possible. She gives each one a hard kick and they run off scurrying. Doggo however seems undeterred.

“NGAHH!” Undyne tackles him, pinning him easily to the ground despite his larger size and that he’s almost two years older than her. She takes to punching him, furiously, and yanking his fur. “You – leave – Papy – alone!” she grunts out, emphasising each word with a punch. Doggo whimpers and she hears Papyrus say something, but she keeps hitting him. Her fist connects with his snout and there’s a cracking noise. Doggo howls, and Undyne climbs off him. She manifests a spear. Asgore says she’s old enough to start learning magical attacks now, as she’s more or less mastered hand-to-hand combat. Her spears aren’t very good yet and tend to dissolve if she tries to use them properly but they get her point across.

She points her spear at his throat. “You leave my friend alone. Or else.”

Doggo whimpers and nods, then stumbles to his feet and scurries off. Undyne lets her spear fade and rushes to Papyrus’ side. He doesn’t look too good. His skull is cracked. There’s another smaller crack under his left eye socket and still another running along the length of his right radius. She also spies some bruised ribs. She leans next to him. “Are you okay?” She knows she needs to get him to the school nurse, now.

He nods weakly. “You shouldn’t have hurt them. That wasn’t very nice.”

“They were beating you _up_ , stupid!”

“It’s all right. They’ve done it before.”

She stares. “Before?”

Another nod. “But, if I just wait for them to stop, they always do eventually! Especially if I just ask!”

She pokes him hard in the ribs, forgetting momentarily they’re bruised. “So? Big deal, Papy, you can’t just let them beat you up without fighting back! You know bone attacks and they kick butt!”

He winces but says nothing. “But… that’d hurt them. And that would be mean. And, and besides… they wouldn’t just do it for no reason, right? So, so I must be doing something wrong that would make them do that. So I just need to figure out what it is to make them stop.” He grins up at her. “But, but it’s okay! Really! Sans is good at healing magic, and home time is soon. The Great Papyrus can deal with anything,” he adds.

Undyne sighs. “I guess we should go to the nurse.” She helps him to his feet. “Just, don’t think that stuff cos it isn’t true. Kick their butts next time, okay? For me.”

The Great Papyrus doesn’t answer.

  
**_They are twelve._**  
It starts with a sparring match in a clearing in Snowdin Forest. They need to spar in largely unpopulated areas of the Underground; Undyne’s magical spears are almost as advanced as a grown monster’s attacks. Papyrus has been working hard at his bone attacks, too.

Undyne is now twelve and eight-twelfths, meaning she’s already practically a teenager. She’s more than happy to hold this over her best friend’s head; he’s five months younger. That means that she’ll be of age to join the Royal Guard soon. She had her own armour made for her not long ago; she used to train in old second-hand armour before that.

She’s more or less got her spot put aside for her. All she needs to do is keep working hard, and on her thirteenth birthday she’ll get to have her initiation ceremony as the Royal Guard’s most junior member.

“Do you think,” Papyrus asks breathlessly while they’re taking a water break, “that when we’re in the Royal Guard together, we’ll get to have the same training hours? Because I may not join as soon as I’m thirteen and you will be far, far ahead of me!”

Undyne is lying sprawled on her back on the muddy ground. She looks at him sideways. “When we’re in the Royal Guard?”

“Well, yes, of course! We’re going to be in it together!”

Undyne sighs, propping herself up on one elbow. “Well, yeah, Papy, but you don’t ‘get in’ just like that have to _do_ something to get in. You have to work hard and prove yourself – ”

“But I have been working hard! That’s why we practise fighting five days a week!” He says this with a firm certainty.

“It’s not _just_ that, you dork. There’s applications and a really strict selection process and the Captain is responsible for all the paperwork and hiring and all sorts of stuff.”

His face falls. His voice is uncharacteristically small. “… I thought you wanted me to be in the Guard with you. But if you don’t, I, I understand, because… because… ”

The fish monster looks down. It’s something she’s been noticing for a while now. They’re both twelve now, in secondary school/.

Except he doesn’t act it. He hasn’t exactly – grown up. He still acts like a kid, and he doesn’t seem to _get_ things the way other kids her age do. Undyne’s known the challenges and prestige associated with being a Royal Guardsman for ages. She’d always assumed Papyrus had come to understand too.

Worse still, he may have the skills, but he hardly has the spirit to be in the Royal Guard. She knows a whole lot about the initiation process – no Captain would ever hire someone like him.

She feels gutted.

She flicks her gaze back up to look at him. She grins. “’course I do, Papy. Come on, that’s enough of a break, don’t you think? Come on, let’s go train.”

  
_**They are thirteen.**_  
She stops calling him Papy.

  
_**They are fourteen.**_  
Undyne is sleeping over at Papyrus’. She hasn’t slept over at his house in a long time. It really is a house now, too, with two storeys and everything, in central Snowdin, and he has a real bed and his own bedroom.

She notes the teddy bear that still leans against the pillow, and the picture books on his bookshelf, as she unfurls her sleeping bag, but she doesn’t say anything. The pair of them are actually quite excited to go downstairs and watch telly. Sans and Papyrus haven’t owned a television before, so the entire affair is very exciting.

Undyne’s brought over some tapes she found that are supposed to have a lot of fighting in them. She can’t wait to check them out. She hauls Papyrus downstairs by his omnipresent scarf and the pair of them drop down onto the sagging sofa with a bowl of chisps between them. A few minutes in, though, Undyne finds herself growing bored and fidgety; these tapes don’t have enough fighting in them.

She mutes the sound and she and Papyrus begin a round of Truth or Dare. Unfortunately, Papyrus always picks Truth and she can’t think of good questions; and she always picks Dare and such dares as _run from one side of the room to the other ten times without stopping_ aren’t especially challenging. Or daring. “Okay, okay, fine,” she says at last, tucking her legs under her, “I pick Truth, then.”

He breaks into a grin and there’s a sudden spark in his eye sockets. “Okay!” The grin is devilish. “Who do you have a crush on?”

Immediately she blushes, and pushes him off the sofa. “Nobody! God, Papyrus, what kind of question is that, anyway? That one sucks.”

He gives her a pointed look, clambering back onto the sofa. “Ooh, so it IS someone. You have chosen Truth and cannot back down now!”

“Fine.” She looks down. “Well, there is this one girl… ” When he continues grinning, she sighs. “Fine! Okay, I _maybe_ , kind of possibly have a very slight crush on Alphy. Happy?”

“I knew it! You only make it glaringly obvious by blushing every time she comes within ten feet of you.”

She shoves him off the sofa again. “Shut up, Papyrus.”

“Sort of like you’re blushing right now, actually – ”

“I said, SHUT UP, Papyrus!”

A wrestling match ensues. It isn’t long before both of them forget what they started wrestling over. All that matters is the battle.

  
**_They are sixteen._**  
They find the magazine while Sans is at work, under the sofa and a plethora of dusty undergarments.

“Oh, awesome,” Undyne breathes, her eyes wide and her grin wider, as she runs her fingers across the pages. “It’s Volume 234. Do you think he has the rest of them?”

It’s an incredible find, a real score – forty whole pages featuring nothing but female monsters of various species wearing just thongs or bras or less.

Papyrus claps his hands over his eye sockets. “They’re not – they’re not wearing anything!”

She stares openly. “Duh.”

 “But… ”

 She presses her hand under his jaw and pushes up. “Shh. I’m enjoying this.” Her gaze flicks over to him. “You’re actually embarrassed.”

“Well, yes of course I am, I – Sans should have known better than to keep this sort of thing! I’m ashamed of him! It’s very impolite!”

She laughs, closing the magazine and giving him a little head bump, her own unique expression of affection. “You’re adorable, Papyrus.” She then hugs the magazine to her chest. “You know that?”

He looks puzzled, and she sets down the magazine to give him a noogie. “You’re like, like… ” She pulls a face in an attempt to articulate her thoughts. “You’re like a cinnamon roll.”

“A – ”

“No, hold up. You’re, like, like a _whole bunch_ of cinnamon rolls. A dozen. No, a _baker’s_ dozen.”

Papyrus looks more puzzled than anything, and she laughs. “Yo, do you think your brother will notice if one of his magazines goes missing?”

  
**_They are seventeen._**  
It is in the Underground standard law for children to complete education up ’til the age of thirteen. As soon as Undyne was initiated into the Royal Guard, she’d had her heart set on finishing school once and for all. She’d been miffed when Asgore had informed her he expected her to complete at least the vast majority of her education.

However, now she’s seventeen, and Asgore informs her that if she truly wishes it, she does not need to complete her final year of school, much to her thrill. No more school, after all! Just hard work and training with the rest of the Guard. Most of the other Royal Guardsmen are likable and easy to get along with, with the exception of the dogs. She’s upgraded to the head patrol officer in Waterfall, and does rounds in Snowdin occasionally, too. The only part she doesn’t enjoy is the paperwork.

Because she’s no longer attending school, Undyne is expected to attend practise more regularly. Her hours are long and sometimes exhausting even for her. Weeks go by during which the only people she sees are Asgore and her fellow Guardsman. She even sleeps at the castle a couple nights a week.

She runs into Papyrus quite by accident, on one of her patrols as he’s walking home from school. His head is down. His feet drag. Nobody else is walking with him. Guilt gnaws at her insides, twisting. She bites her lip and jogs over, yanking off her helmet. “Hey, Papyrus,” she calls out as she catches up to him, giving him a shoulder punch.

He jumps and winces. Yet he brightens almost immediately. “Greetings, Undyne!”

 She cuts him off before he has the chance to say another word. “It’s great to see ya. Really.” She falters. “Listen. God. I am so sorry for not hanging out with you since forever. But the Royal Guard business, the stuff is insane. There’s patrols and paperwork and I’m supposed to be trying to help train some of the junior members too on top of my own training.”

“I understand!” His tone is chipper. “You must be very busy!”

“No, no, I should be hanging out with you more. I miss ya.”

“But you’ll need to put your career first! It’s very important!”

“Not as much as you.”

 “You shouldn’t be saying that,” his tone is scolding this time. “Although… I suppose… school does get a little lonely sometimes.”

 She rests her head against his shoulder, patting his spine. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.” Her armour makes a slight clanking sound against his bones. “Nobody giving you a tough time?”

 “No, of course not! Everything is most absolutely right as rain! The very pinnacle of perfection!” And there it is, his chipper tone slides right back in, the curtains sliding open once more. Intermission is over, the show is back on.

 “That’s good. I’m glad to hear it.” She sighs. “Real glad. The Great Papyrus, always up for anything, huh? I can’t think of a single thing that’d dampen your spirits.”

 She has the next weekend off. Alphys invites her over for an anime marathon. She goes.

  
**_They are eighteen._**  
Papyrus’ eighteenth birthday is a quiet affair. Undyne comes over. They have spaghetti and cake and afterwards, Sans heads out to work his shift as sentry at his Snowdin station, supposedly leaving the pair of them to finish off the spaghetti and watch TV.

 Undyne reclines on the sofa, glancing over at him. “Okay. So since you’re a total adult now and stuff, you wanna head over to Grillby’s and get, like, totally pissed?”

 “I must say I am not especially fond of that idea. Doing so would be impractical and upset Sans.”

 "Aw, you suck. Okay, fine.” Her eyes light up. “Okay, okay. Remember when we used to run around through Waterfall stark naked? I mean, it was kinda a long time ago, but – ”

 “Of course I do! Are you suggesting we do it again?” Papyrus looks much more nervous than he did when they were six.

 “What? No, God, no.” She grins devilishly. “Let’s go _skinny dipping_.”

He’s still apprehensive, but she bullies him into it. Half an hour later, they stand at the edge of one of the larger pools of central Waterfall. It’s quite late and there’s not a person in sight. Papyrus stands there nervously, but Undyne wastes no time in yanking her tank top over her head and pulling off her jeans. She tosses them in a pile and then stops, looking expectantly at Papyrus.

The skeleton hops from foot to foot. “I was just thinking… well, don’t you suppose… ” He looks comically embarrassed.

Undyne gives an impatient sigh. “Relax, you dork. There’s no-one around.” She elbows him in the ribs, and he winces but begins to undress. In a moment, all his clothes lie in a pile next to hers. He forces her to wait as he folds each item neatly. “Come onnnn, Papyrus.”

He straightens and stands, pokes a toe into the water.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Undyne presses a hand against his lower spine and shoves. His arms windmill and he lets out an alarmed yelp before tumbling into the cool water. Undyne laughs, diving in after him and touching the ground, her limbs kicking with a mix of fury and grace, then she bursts upwards, tipping her head back with a laugh, and whoops.

Next to her, Papyrus is starting to laugh too, and soon they’re both laughing as loudly as they can, splashing each other and swimming in circles. Papyrus is, actually, a better swimmer than he should be, but she taught him – or, more accurately, forced him to learn – years ago. It does help that he doesn’t have lungs. Soon their splashing becomes more aggressive, their whooping louder. She’s sure they can be heard all the way over in the Capital and she doesn’t care.

They continue on like this for a while, make a game of grabbing the other’s ankles and yanking each other down underwater. After an uncertain stretch of time, they climb out, pulling their clothes on. The fabric sticks to Undyne’s scales but somehow she feels more liberated. A little closer to the stars.

From there it’s only appropriate they head to the Wishing Room. It’s deserted, and they lie down on their backs side by side, staring up at the glittering stones embedded in the cave ceiling. Undyne wonders what kind of gem they are. Either way, she doesn’t make a wish. The old superstitions have always struck her as overly sentimental. It’s not like any wishes made are going to come true.

“Papyrus?” she asks softly, turning her head to look over at him.

“Yes?” His voice is loud and boisterous as ever.

“Do you… like it here?” She’s careful to keep her voice low so as not to be caught by the Echo Flowers. Somehow she doesn’t want these words to be left behind for any passerby to hear. This is their conversation, their moment.

“Do you mean the Underground?” Papyrus’ voice is uncharacteristically quiet, too, and she wonders if perhaps he understands. “Well, I don’t think it’s so bad at all! But everyone is always saying how we’re stuck down here and calling it a prison. It’s what keeps us away from the real stars!"

Undyne turns her head again, keeping her eyes trained on the glinting stones on the cave ceiling. “Well, yeah, it is. It _is_ a prison, and a dump. The humans _trapped_ us down here. We did nothing but try to live among them peacefully, and they responded to us with _war_ and _bloodshed_. They _stuck_ us here, and they’re keeping the sky for themselves. This – this – ” she gestures furiously up at the stones, still careful to keep her voice low – “is a _mockery_ of what we had.” She stops then, breathing hard. When she speaks again, her voice is scarcely audible. “But then on the other hand… it’s home, too.”

_  
**They are twenty.**  
_ Undyne finds the human by the dump, in the lower pools of Waterfall. It’s a small, pale girl. Just a child. Later, she will learn the human was ten, but that hardly matters right now. What matters is the freedom of monsterkind. What matters is the gun in the little girl’s hand, the _bang_ as it goes off, and the bullet that is currently embedded in Undyne’s left eye.

Her life’s led up to this moment, after all. She is a soldier of the Royal Guard. She has a duty to fulfil. For monsters, for the Underground, for her friends.

The human’s high-pitched shriek (“It was an accident!”) washes over and past her as she readies her spear. It goes through the human’s stomach. Her soul – it’s yellow – flickers into visibility, a pathetic-looking thing, fluttering anxiously as the human breathes out her final breaths. Her gun slips from small fingers slick with blood and her hat slides off her head to float atop the knee-deep water as Undyne gathers the human’s body.

She presents it to the King immediately, despite the blood that still pours from her socket. Needless to say, Asgore positively _panics_. He seems far more concerned about _her_ than the fact they’ve acquired another human soul, and ignoring every one of her protests, forces her to go to hospital.

There’s no saving her eye, and while she has to admit that her eye still _really_ hurts a _whole damn lot_ , and while she hardly anticipates the loss of depth perception and of peripheral vision on her left side, it’s worth it.

She’s been pronounced Captain, after all. If she ever needed to do something to prove herself, this was it, but it’s more than that to her. They’ve acquired the sixth human soul, after all. They only need one more.

Plus, once the bandages come off, she’ll get to wear an eye patch, which will, simply put, look damn cool.

Papyrus comes to see her. He brings flowers the first day. (His brother doesn’t come. Sans, it turns out, doesn’t like flowers very much). He’s a teary, fussy mess about the entire affair, and sits at her bedside positively blubbering.

Undyne just laughs, tossing one of her pillows at him and missing considerably. “Aw, stop crying, y’big weenie. Come in over here.” She scoots over on her cot and pats the canvas mattress next to her.

Papyrus is hesitant. “But won’t you… ”

“I had my eye shot out, dork, I’m not hooked up to life support! Anyway, come in on my right side. I have to be able to see you, right?”

With visible hesitation, he climbs into the bed next to her, replacing the pillow she threw. “Can’t believe I’m holed up in here for a whole week more. And then I’m – well, Captain of the Guard. Shit.” She laughs.

“Oh, yes. It’s an extremely important position!” Papyrus looks down at his hands, folded in his lap.

Undyne frowns, then gives him a slight punch to the arm. “Hey. Listen. That doesn’t need to change anything, got it? You’re still my best friend.”  

He nods.

She smiles, nestling her head against his clavicle and closing her eye. “You better come tomorrow,” she mumbles sleepily. The painkillers leave her perpetually drowsy. “Real boring here. Haven’t got anything to do.”

He promises he will. The ward nurse finds them later, both asleep, a faint green glow emitting from Papyrus’ eye sockets and her still cuddled against him in contentment.

  
_**They are twenty-three.**_  
When she finds him banging on her door at 1am in the morning, waking her up, she barely registers what he’s saying. She opens the door and throws a pillow in his face. “Go home, Papyrus,” she says around a yawn, and promptly slams the door shut.

But then he’s still there when she wanders into her kitchen the next morning a little after eight; she can see him through the peephole at her door. Undyne hesitates – she’s still in her pyjamas after all. But she gets the awful feeling he’s been there all night. Running a hand over her face, she yanks the door open.

He’s dropped to his knee caps since last night, and his hands are clasped together tightly. It can’t be very comfortable. Judging by the way the muddy ground has caked around his knee bones, she suspects he’s been kneeling in the same position all night.

The moment she opens the door, he perks up. “Good morning, my fabulous fishy friend! Now that you have rested, have you come to your decision?"

She stares down at him. “My… ?”

“You know! About whether I’m ready to be recruited to join the Royal Guard!” he says this with his usual perkiness, all the while looking up at her, the vertebrae of his neck straining to arch upwards. “You’ve been telling since you became Captain you’d think about it!”

_Oh_.

“Please, oh, PLEASE _?_ The Great Papyrus has all the qualities to be the picture of the ideal Royal Guardsman! I have, for instance, been working ten hours a day at perfecting  
my– ”

She stares down at him, at his eager expression. _Since you became Captain_.

Three years ago.

Any ordinary monster would have given up hope ages ago, but looking down at Papyrus’ face, at his earnest expression, the gleam in his sockets, she realises he truly does believe that, in time, he’ll make it into the Royal Guard. He _believes_ in her, trusts her that much.

He believes in her. When he shouldn’t.

He’s still staring up at her. Expectant.

She gives a small chuckle. “Aw, well. I don’t see what harm can come out of starting you out with private training.”

His hopeful grin spreads wider. “Really?! Wowie! The Great Papyrus will finally be a member of the Royal Guard!”

Undyne’s breath comes out shaky and she avoids answering. “Ah, get up, ya bonehead.”

He shoots to his feet, already the loyal soldier. Already more than willing to follow her into the dark.

Her expression softens as she tilts her head to one side. “Come on in, Papy.” She offers him one of her rare soft smiles, leading him inside. “I was just gonna put on the tea…”

 

**END.**


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